Struggles in School

My daughter Maddy has ADHD and this year has been difficult for her academically.  Last year after her diagnosis & start of treatment she finished 1st grade on the A/B Honor Roll.  My husband & I were so proud, we actually felt optimistic about her school career, regardless of the challenges of her disorder. This year I expected a slow start but with the spike in curriculum requirements for 2nd grade she has been struggling.  Gone are the days of learning to read, Maddy now has to read to learn.

For most of this year, I have been assisting in her classroom.  Of course this is great help to her teacher who loves volunteers, but it's also helped give me insight into her behavior & work habits which are much different from at home. At home she is so talkative & confident, at school she is so quiet and reserved.  Even with her medication it's hard for her to stay focused on her demanding work load.  Maddy has been squeaking by with C's in all of her core subjects.  I don't expect perfection but I know she's CAPABLE of better.  Unfortunately, her Math grade is really suffering this quarter.  She has been carrying a D average for 9 weeks.  I have been doing everything in my power at home to tutor her & practice, but every day when I drop her off at school, it's up to her to take her time, use the proper methods and find the right answers. She can't rush, she can't guess, she can't cheat, she has to do the work and do it well.  Easier said than done.

Because of her ADHD, we have had several meetings with her teachers & guidance counselors to implement accommodations for her.  Kids with ADHD often need extra time and extra instructions to take tests & complete their assignments.  These accommodations have helped, the medications have helped, a healthy diet has helped, but there is no cure, there is no easy fix.  Thank God, we have had such patient & dedicated teachers over the years, without them I don't know where we'd be.  Maddy is lucky be in such a good public school where they have to the tools & talent to handle students with these learning challenges.

But I'm still frustrated. I agonize over what else to do and how to help her better.  I just know that every year is going to get harder and harder.  The anxiety and stress Maddy & I both suffer over school is exhausting.  We live for weekends, holidays & breaks just because it's such a weight off the both of us not to think about tests & homework.

Two days ago when I was assisting, Maddy's class was working on a rough draft about a story of them as an ant.  It has to have a beginning, a middle, an event, a problem, a solution and a conclusion.  Seems easy enough right?  Ideas have to connect, sentences have to flow.  As I moved around the room reading the kids' stories, helping them edit, I come to my daughter to find she has one page of rambling sentences, missing the key components.  I help her to erase, I make some notes at the top of her page and we quickly discuss ideas for her story so she has an outline to follow.  Then, the bell rang.  My time was up and Maddy's class was off to reading lab and lunch.  I quickly told her teacher the direction I was nudging and that Maddy clearly needed more help articulating her thoughts.

Her teacher then told me, "You know, you're a natural teacher, I think this is your calling."  WOW, what a complement!  Too bad I don't feel that way.  If I was such a natural teacher than why can't I help my own daughter better?  When I got in my car, I couldn't help but cry.  I wish I could be there for Maddy every moment of every day to protect her and make sure she doesn't make mistakes, but that just isn't possible.  When she gets a good grade she is so happy & proud of herself, it brings us both to tears.  On the days she brings home a bad grade, all she can say is how sorry she is.  It breaks my heart & frustrates us both even more.  I'm so glad that Maddy has a supportive teacher and such caring & helpful classmates but my heart breaks for the day when these kids stop caring and start poking fun.

So what more can I do? How do I help her feel more confident in school? How do I help her thrive socially and succeed academically when I can't be there to hold her hand? How do I sleep at night, with so many obstacles ahead???  I just don't know.....